I swear if I didn't know better I would think my "dear" husband is just being a total fucking asshole for no reason other than to push my buttons. Because I do know him, I'm guessing he must just be having a stupid day or two, or that the heat is melting his brain. We had a high temp of 100 yesterday, and he decided that yesterday afternoon was a good idea to proposition me for sex, despite the fact that it was A MILLION FUCKING DEGREES in addition to me being dreadfully hungover.
THEN when I went up to bed I discovered he had turned off the window AC unit. Upstairs. In the finished attic. Of an almost 100-year-old house. With no central AC. In other words, our bedroom was a fucking sauna. When I wasked him why he turned it off, he was literally speechless for at least 30 seconds. Then he mumbled something about how he didn't think it was a good idea for the window AC to be on for very long. Oh, you mean, IT'S DESIGNED PURPOSE? Do you think the manufacturer's only figured people would be hot for 30 minutes every month or so? The fuck? Then he mumbled something about the electricity bill and I asked him if he even knew what we had ever paid for electricity in the past, oh, 6 years. Of course he doesn't. I don't know how many times he's turned off the AC in the middle of the night on hot nights because he's too cold, only to cause me to wake up at some godforsaken hour sweating my ass off because he can't think to put an extra blanket on himself when he's too cold, causing me to almost kill him in his sleep. What is it about this situation that he can't learn? Is every day a brand new fucking day that he can't remember his wife likes the air conditioning ON for chrissakes?!
Then this afternoon after he and the dogs got back from their walk, he grabbed a towel from the hamper TO WIPE THE DOG'S ASS. And he couldn't grab a towel from the pile of dozen or so ratty towels that we use for the dogs - he grabbed a guest towel. Fantastic. I don't know what's going on but I am totally sick of him today. He keeps trying to be cutesy and charming and I am so annoyed I can barely look at him. lordy.
3 comments:
Um, are you sure you're not joining the maternity floor of the building? I'm just saying ~ all of those are murderable offenses in my house when I'm preg.
Dude, don't get me started on the ac. If you're the cold one put on more clothes!!! You can get warm - I CANNOT get cool by sitting in a hot freakin house. I cannot stand waking up hot & sweaty - you can't get back to sleep after that!
Oh lord. I'm afraid that's the kind of jackass stuff that I do. I'm an idiot around the house. Although I would have used a rag for the dog. Seriously.
I wish my husband would pick up some deductive reasoning skills.
Loved the post!
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